We all know the stock figure of the crazy cat lady. But there’s another cliché among the no-longer-so-young and single set—the 30ish single gal that uses a pet as a substitute for a child. I am that cliché.
Well, sort of. My kitty is no substitute for child on account of I like kitties and I don’t like children. But there are an awful lot of ways in which living with Wash is like living with a baby. Here are a few of them:
1. I talk about him more than anyone wants to hear. You know how new parents go on and on about their baby to the annoyance of all around them? That was me. I’ve kind of got control of it, but the rep holds and it’s not undeserved.
2. He wakes me up at all hours of the night.
3. He cries a lot.
4. When he gets tired he wants me to hold him nonstop and I wind up learning to do a lot of things one handed.
5. Sometimes he’s really tired but doesn’t want to go to sleep for fear of missing something, so I wind up tricking him into going to sleep.
6. He leaves his toys all over the floor.
7. I spend my afternoons hoping for him to take a nap so that I can do the things I can’t do when he’s awake (cooking, cleaning, etc.)
8. His food and medical expenses are a definite drain on my finances.
9. Oh crap. I’ve become the pet owning equivalent of a Mommy blogger!