Top 5 Reasons I Am Scared of/Hate Facebook

5)  I have never felt like I completely understood all the security settings.  They keep jacking around with the toggles and switches and when the stupid games and shit first started I was never sure what I was saying okay to.  Obviously, the fact that I tweet, and write posts like this says I’m not totally scared of having a web presence, but I am a little particular about how I control it–and until I’m 100% confident in the facebook system, I will remain scared of it.

4) It’s…busy.  There’s just so much STUFF going on when you log in.  Friend requests, friend suggestions, messages, wall posts, updates, Farm shit….where do you even start?!?!?  I log in, get overwhelmed, and wind up logging out just as  fast as I can.

3) People throw shit and poke me.  I’ve been beaned by gnomes, poked until I’m black and blue and for some reason people keep “giving” me virtual plants and animals.  WTF?  Nothing says, “we’re buddies” like assault with virtual weapons.

2) Every friggin person I love and loathe is there.  Relatives I haven’t laid eyes on since I was in kindergarten.  Classmates from my old high schools.  People from work.  Some of them it’s interesting to hear from, some of them I don’t care, and some of them I never wanted to think of again and would prefer to deny knowing.  And for a lot of them, I know they don’t want to reconnect–they want be creepy busy bodies who satisfy their voyeuristic tendencies by looking up people they used to know.

1) The number one thing I hate?  It’s expected.  There are people I literally cannot get a hold of any way BUT facebook.  This is a major piss off.  I’m stuck having to log into this crappy-ass system because their asses are too lazy to communicate via anything outside of facebook.  Would it kill your ass to write a fucking e-mail once in a while?