I am visiting Texas right now. Apologies for any typos–even after so many months, I am still no touch-screen expert, and for the first time in years, I am traveling sans laptop.
I have a Texas battery that requires charging now and then. This trip partially fulfills that need, but I have come to accept that my need to return here is not just an over-active case of state pride. It is also a realization that within these borders, and most particularly to Fort Worth, I have the greatest concentration of friends and family of any place on Earth. The links may not be as strong as between my parents and my brother, but they are close. And they are time-tested, and they are constant — both in terms of the relationships themselves, and in terms of geography. And geography is something my closest relationships (immediate family in particular) are far from consistent on.
So I have been asking myself: am I a fool to want to move here for the friends? I know it is not–nor could it ever be–all my friends. This is the downside of the wonderfully diverse group of people I have befriended over the years. But the friends here are numerous,varied, blend well with my other circles, and this set has remained in one place for more than a decade in a city I like and which has great potential–some of which the outer level of this circle is influencing.
Right now, I live where my only real friends are those I made at the bill-paying-job. The job itself has made opportunities to expand that circle difficult. I know I am lonely, and I know that loneliness is inherently unhealthy. I find myself very, very drawn finding a job here as much for the social connection as to escape from the stagnant and unhealthy job situation I am currently facing.
But, I come from a family that has moved because of the job–which I respect. This past of work-defining-place rather than place-defining-work is making it hard to judge whether my own feelings are wisdom, or folly.
