It's My TV….It's My Peanut Butter

I have nothing I want to write about tonight.  Not a thing.  It was a pretty long day at the bill-paying job today and I mostly want my acetaminophen-pm and my pillow.  But, since it’s my turn to post (and I’m all kind of resolved to be better about that this year)….here are things that I considered and discarded:

1) The Job.  One day, when I have other means of income, I will write a fabulous tell all about my way not glamorous job.  It will be a fantastic mix of tragedy and comedy.  I will be hailed a genius and the world will be changed.  Until then, I like paying the bills.

2) Politics.  Not touching that with a 10-foot f-ing pole.  To quote Josh from The West Wing, “I’m so sick of Congress I could vomit.”  If I hear about one more damn Republican Primary….

3) The Idiot Who Nearly Ran Me Into a Ditch This Morning.  He made my day start out sucky and since he didn’t actually manage to run me off the road and to an early grave, you’re stuck reading this sub-standard post.

4) The Weather. I’m not talking about it because ours has been fantastic and I don’t wanna jinx it by saying more than that (having written this much, we’ll get 6 inches of snow and -15 temps tomorrow)

5) The Cat.  She’s being bitchy and a little attention whore and paying attention to her will only make it worse.

And on that note, my little painkillers-o-wonder are standing by to cure the pounding in my head and whisk me off to the land of Nod on 25mg of Diphenhydramine.

You might have noticed by now that we here at It’s My TV, It’s My Peanut Butter have a thing for lists.  I don’t know what it is, because generally speaking we’re a couple of rather disorganized gals, but there’s something really satisfying about arranging bits of random material into lists.  And not to be overlooked is the major comic potential inherent in lists.  Again, hard to explain, but hopefully you know what I’m talking about.

You know who definitely knows what I’m talking about?  The folks over at Cracked.com.  Our Time Vampire of the Week.

Cracked.com advertises itself as “America’s Only Humor and Video Site since 1958.”  And you know, I’m trying to think back to other websites I was frequenting around 1958, and can’t think of any that related to humor or videos.  So it must be true.

But that’s not why I wind up losing hours and hours of time there.  I lose hours there because the site is full of really random, fully explicated lists.  And just now when I bopped over there one of the lists was “6 Shockingly Evil Things that Babies are Capable of.”  Anyone who knows about my evolution- defying hatred of babies understands now why I love this site.  So much so that I forgive them for starting a sentence with a numeral and ending it with a preposition.  This site brings the funny.  And their lists are hilarious, not just in terms of subject (though there is nothing funny about the evils of babies) but in the ways they explain them.  I laughed out loud at least four times in the 25 minutes I just wasted there.  For the record, I wasn’t planning to spend any time there at all.  See how an effective time vampire works?

If you’re like me and crave knowledge of the completely useless variety, Cracked is actually quite educational.  Just now I learned about the badass exploits of St. Vladimir of Kiev and why he’s one of the “Six Saints who could Kick My Ass.”  He’s also an ancestor of mine, so I’m thrilled to find out he provided humorous historical material for future generations.  It’s important to leave something behind.  A lot of the links are equipped with video and hyperlinks to provide extra material, if you don’t think a random humor website is a good enough factual source.  Also, delightfully photoshopped images.  Fun times!

I do feel I must give you this warning, however, that not all of Cracked.com‘s lists are completely safe for work.  Or small children.  Or factories that employ child labor.  Particularly not in the language department.  And sometimes in the picture or video department.  So explore this time vampire carefully my friends, but have fun.  (That sounds really dirty, but I’m not going to correct it.  Ha.)