It's My TV….It's My Peanut Butter

I have nothing I want to write about tonight.  Not a thing.  It was a pretty long day at the bill-paying job today and I mostly want my acetaminophen-pm and my pillow.  But, since it’s my turn to post (and I’m all kind of resolved to be better about that this year)….here are things that I considered and discarded:

1) The Job.  One day, when I have other means of income, I will write a fabulous tell all about my way not glamorous job.  It will be a fantastic mix of tragedy and comedy.  I will be hailed a genius and the world will be changed.  Until then, I like paying the bills.

2) Politics.  Not touching that with a 10-foot f-ing pole.  To quote Josh from The West Wing, “I’m so sick of Congress I could vomit.”  If I hear about one more damn Republican Primary….

3) The Idiot Who Nearly Ran Me Into a Ditch This Morning.  He made my day start out sucky and since he didn’t actually manage to run me off the road and to an early grave, you’re stuck reading this sub-standard post.

4) The Weather. I’m not talking about it because ours has been fantastic and I don’t wanna jinx it by saying more than that (having written this much, we’ll get 6 inches of snow and -15 temps tomorrow)

5) The Cat.  She’s being bitchy and a little attention whore and paying attention to her will only make it worse.

And on that note, my little painkillers-o-wonder are standing by to cure the pounding in my head and whisk me off to the land of Nod on 25mg of Diphenhydramine.

Okay, so the real time vamp for this week–actually, for this month–is my job.  Yes, I know it’s already been a time vamp and I know that no one wants to hear it, so rather than dwell on the vamp, I’ll leave you the twitter-esque left-overs that I would have been expanding upon for lengthy and insightful posts (insert snorts of derision here) if I were not being held captive by that time vampire of presentations and spreadsheets and stupid bean-counting assholes.

-There is something worse than being accused of riding the short bus: it’s being accused of being the kid riding in the back of the shortbus and licking the windows.

-If you could buy most MBAs for what they’re worth and sell them for what they think they’re worth, a lot of people would be in a much higher tax bracket and the whole debt crises would be easily solved.

-Cat vs. Me in the when-should-the-human-get-out-of-bed battle.  Cat 10.  Me 2.

-Did you know you can impress male colleagues by drinking whiskey straight?  Yeah.  Neither did I.  But I inadvertently grew cooler in their eyes, so, go me.

-Never, ever let yourself forget how awesome ol-skool Madonna songs are.

-Irrational fear of tornadoes further rationalized when Wednesday afternoon involved 45 minutes in the hallway at work on lock-down for a tornado warning.

I have no topic on my mind tonight that justifies a single post, so I’m going to rock this Twitter-style (though, probably not 140-characters…maybe more Tumblr?)

-Winter Weather:  Kristy’s already voiced her hatred for this never-ending winter.  I second that.  My company started 9/80 work weeks, meaning I should be getting every other Friday off.  My last off-Friday I had so much work to do, I clocked a 10 hour day in the office.  I was looking forward to this Friday off, promising myself a trip to the art museum and out to start shopping for a fountain pen.  That got shot to hell with ice and snow that started yesterday.  And led to the next point of discussion:

-Rear Wheel Drive Pick Ups On Ice:  I had no choice but to get out on these shitty roads in a rear-wheel drive pick-up.  Dad’s truck had to be re-tagged by the end of the month.  I’d purposely marked this off-Friday as the day to accomplish this.  I’d planned to get the inspection, do the registration and then head out to the museum in the truck.  Instead of an easy jaunt up to the inspection station, I had to wrestle heavy sand bags into the truck bed and fight to get them in place over the rear axel so I could get something approaching traction.  Even so, let’s just say it was a very interesting drive.  Very.

-Pandora Is Ignoring Me:  So, based on recommendations from some of you, dear readers, and the ease of access on my BluRay player, I’ve been using Pandora.  Unfortunately, it’s not being very intelligent.  It keeps trying to give me Tim McGraw.  And Lonestar.  And Rascal Flatts.  And assorted other people I don’t like (based off of my putting in Reba).  Even with my liberal use of “Thumbs Down” it appears not to believe me.

-Pinto Bean Milestone:  Despite the fact that pinto beans and cornbread have been a favorite staple of my family for as far back as I can remember, I have never actually attempted to cook this meal.  Black beans, lentils, navy beans–I’ve done all these numerous times and fairly well.  But the one bean that defined my childhood, I avoided. I suspect there’s some kind of psychological reason, like a subconscious fear of making something inferior and rendering me completely unworthy of being a part of either side of my family.  Well, this week, I couldn’t stand it.  I haven’t had a good pot of homemade pinto beans in over a year (since Mom hasn’t been around to make them, and I haven’t gone down to TX).  And lo….I am worthy of the family.  I feel terribly proud of myself.   And possibly a bit gassy.

I’ve been wracking my brain for something to post (especially since I’m coming in off missing multiple posts now), but the truth is, I can’t find anything I want to blog about.  All I come up with are things I don’t want to blog about.  So, while this is obviously self defeating:

1) Korea:  When you talk about unstable parts of the world that closely resemble a powder keg, or, for those of you more into explosives, a big pile of RDX, N. Korea comes to my mind before most others.  So when the news cranks up with them lobbing shit back and forth with their South Korean neighbors?  I worry.  It’s not the cold war type fear of being assimilated, but the fear of dealing with the international equivalent of Crazy Harry from the Muppet show with his explosive plunger.

2) TSA Bullshit:  I have lots of opinions on this.  Strong ones.  So strong my blood pressure shoots up.  Blogging on this one is probably a health threat.  Suffice to say I don’t feel safer knowing the new measures are in place, no matter what anyone says, and at least porn stars get paid for being shown naked and fondled.  Maybe someone could work out a refund deal where the TSA covers those fucking check bag charges.  It would be a small start.

3) My Job:  I’m just not going to go into detail about the level of stupidity I deal with out of certain key individuals.  Just not going to.

The only thing I have left to blog about is that Kristy came out to visit again, and that’s always cool.  Sadly, number three has taken time away from visiting.  And without a chance to really visit, must as I’d like to blog about it, I can’t .  How is it that I could, conceivably, blog at length about crap I don’t want to, but when it comes to a pleasant topic, I draw a blank?

If the weather is clear in your location, take a walk outside in the evening and take a gander up at Jupiter.  It’s incredibly bright right now–the brightest its been in decades and the brightest it will be until 2022.  We’re as close to our incredibly large neighbor as we’ve been since 1960-something.  If you’re going to waive to the little grey men on our gas-giant neighbor down the intergalactic street, now’s your chance (technically the closest was Monday, but it will be bright all this week)

I’m usually pretty bad about getting out and actually seeing things like this.  I have the best of intentions, but weather and my desire for sleep tends to interfere with my viewing of cosmic light shows.  But this one was relatively easy to walk out and catch on the horizon.  I’d like to see it when it’s directly overhead, but that will be midnight.

And yes, I waved.  But I was waving the moons.  Jupiter may be all big and bad, but it’s moons?  Way more fun.   And if there are little grey man?  They’re on Europa.  I swear.

Song titles in the form of questions amuse me.  Or rather, giving random answers to the questions amuses me.

“Does Ft. Worth Ever Cross Your Mind?”   Why yes it does.  A lot, actually.

“Do you know the way to San Jose?”   Not without a map.

“Is there life out there?”  Definitely, otherwise it would be a total waste of space.

“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”  Not a chance, but I almost give you points for the pick up attempt.

“Who needs sleep?”  William and Mary students.

“Where Have You Been?”  You don’t want to know.

“What am I gonna do about you?”  I don’t want to know.

“Are you lonesome tonight?”  Nope, the cat’s keeping me company.

“Is anybody going to San Antone?”  No, but I wish I was.

“Wouldn’t it be nice?”  No, it wouldn’t.  It would totally mess up the carpet!

“Isn’t It Ironic?”  Nope.  Just a coincidence.

“Who’ll stop the rain?’  Hopefully no one.  The pollen seriously needs to get washed out of the air.