Did you hear that fan-girl squee?

Okay, so my first return was a little premature, here’s hoping this one sticks.

And it’s appropriate that I’m returning from a hiatus, because I am overflowing with excitement about another return. If you haven’t heard One Life to Live is coming back!

If you have heard about it, you no doubt wondered why you did not hear about it from me. The answer is this: I was too afraid it wouldn’t actually happen. I’ve been burned before. Prospect Park told us all they had saved OLTL and All My Children in July 2011, only to tell us it wasn’t happening in November. Now, to be fair, they never said they were cancelling it, they just said they were suspending production, didn’t think it was the right time, blah, blah, blah. I don’t think it was all their fault—ABC definitely played a few things underhanded that kinda screwed them—but a lot of fans, myself included, felt jilted.

So when rumors started leaking in December that they were back at work, I was skeptical. Other rumors indicated that their contracts would allow ownership of the soaps to revert back to ABC in January if nothing had been done on them, so I figured maybe they were doing just enough work to show they were still using the shows so that they didn’t lose them.

Then slowly, actors began announcing they’d signed on. I allowed myself to be a little more hopeful, because I really didn’t want to believe this company would be jerks enough to dangle employment over people’s heads just to check a box on a contract. Then studio spaces were rented. Then specific details on how long and how often the shows would be came out. Then it was announced they were going to air on Hulu. And slowly I began to realize it was probably happening.

But still I said nothing to you all (who I know were dying to know). Because I didn’t want to jinx things and I didn’t want to look like an idiot when things fell through. But… an official premiere date has been set, filming began on Monday. I’m finally ready to admit it’s happening.

One Life to Live is returning (and since it’s not going to be on network television, it’s apparently now with more f-bombs and naked time). I am a happy soap fan.

And ABC can suck it.

(PS. This now gives me an excuse for a Hulu prime membership which will also allow me to watch telenovelas till my heart’s content. In other news, I will never be finishing my dissertation.)

Geographic Ignorance and Cultural Imperialism

Cammy is well known for her rants about geographic inaccuracy. Usually as it applies to Texas. Either because there aren’t as many things set in Virginia or because I just don’t care about Virginia as much as Cammy cares about Texas, I’ve never really found myself getting so worked up about it. Until last week when I was watching Days of our Lives.

Yes, I can feel you rolling your eyes already. “Kristy,” you say, “You’re going to get worked up about geographic inaccuracy on a soap opera? A show where one of the main characters was once possessed? Like literally. In a genre where people come back from the dead on a regular basis? Really?” Yes, I am. Deal with it.

So on Days it just so happened that the doctor who was the only one who knew the truth about one character’s miscarriage (long story) went to Peru to do some medical charity work. Good for her. My problem started when one of the characters (Dr. Daniel) back in Salem (which if I gather correctly is in some vague part of the Midwest that’s never really identified) needed to get in touch with her. Someone at the hospital told him that the charity was based in Machu Picchu but she had gone “in country” to work.

Really. The charity is based in Machu Picchu. By the snack bar or next to the Hitching Post of the Sun? Cause, I’ve been to Machu Picchu and there’s not a whole lot there besides the ruins. But then the character talked to someone in the Machu Picchu office on the phone, so apparently they have offices there. If you haven’t been to Machu Picchu, let me clarify that there’s no town surrounding the ruin. It’s not an easily accessible location. There’s the large ruin complex, “servicios sanitarios”, a small hotel/restaurant, and a snack bar.  Seriously, that’s it. And we’re given to understand that this doctor went through Machu Picchu before going to the location where she was working. So she flew into Lima, then took a flight to Cusco (there are a few direct international flights to Cusco, but I don’t think there are any from the US), took the train from Cusco to Aguas Calientes, then took a bus up to Machu Picchu just so she could go work somewhere else. Well sure, that makes sense.

Then we find out she’s working in Lima. You know, that remote backwater that’s nothing like the urban metropolis of Machu Picchu. It’s not like it’s the capital of the country with a population of over eight million. Clearly no charity would bother putting offices there. It’s reiterated several times that the charity has no offices in Lima. And that makes it nearly impossible for our hero Daniel to get a hold of this elusive doctor. Because it’s not like they have phones in Lima or internet cafés on every corner. Except… yeah… The day is saved a short time after by Rafe, our token Latino character who asserts he can find anybody. A moment later he magically has a phone number for the doctor. I like to hope that Rafe sent a facebook message to some friend in Lima that said something like, “Hey, this dumbass gringo I know doesn’t seem to get that you all passed the Stone Age a while ago. Can you look up a number in the local phone book for me?” Or better yet, tweeted the doctor herself. Because seriously…

I get that I’m overthinking this, but it really bothered me. And not just because things were represented wrong geographically, but because of the ignorance that was so obviously at the root of it. My guess is the writers put the offices in Machu Picchu because it was the only place in Peru any of them have heard of. They put the doctor in Lima because they yelled out of the writers’ room, “What’s a place in Peru?” and someone yelled back, “Lima.” At no point did anyone bother looking at a map or Wikipedia. I don’t expect in-depth research, but this would not have taken effort people.

It bothers me because it’s so symptomatic of the way industrialized nations look at developing nations. They’re in South America, so clearly this whole country must be primitive. And everything must be located near the only famous landmark we’ve heard of. I can excuse them not knowing what’s in the mountains and what’s in the jungle, but this was just too much.

Changing the Channel Part II: Days of Our Lives

So for part II of my changing the channel adventure, I decided to check out Days of our Lives. I didn’t really have much of a concrete reason for choosing this one other than the online buzz for the show at this point seems fairly decent.

I didn’t have any trouble figuring out what was going on. For the most part (more on this later). Just like in stereotypes they do a good enough job of working exposition into scenes that it’s easy enough to catch up. Even though there’s major plotline that seems to be referencing some deep history.

Over all, I’m digging the show a bit more than B&B (which annoys me since it’s twice as long). There are things I definitely like about it. I like that they’ve spent a lot of time dealing with the friendship dynamics between Abigail and Melanie. Abigail kind of grates on my nerves, but the big issue is that television usually gets so swept up in couple swapping that they forget to include non-sexual friendships. And friendships can be just as compelling dramatically. I loved watching Melanie listen to Abbey’s whole story about sleeping with her married professor boss. You could see Melanie thinking that her friend was crazy and stupid and yet trying to still be a good friend. A lot of us have been there. It was a nice touch of reality.

Other things I like: EJ is a wonderful villain. Smarmy and smug. Devious. But he’s also multifaceted—seems to actually have some sort of a heart and feelings etc. I was blindsided by the revelation that EJ and Sami had slept together (this is a big deal because they’re both married to other people) because ordinarily on soaps when people have secrets they talk about them constantly, loudly, in public locations. I’m amazed that the show enabled me to be surprised. Nicely done. On the other hand, I wasn’t entertained by Sami’s husband Rafe making out with her sister Carrie because they kept building and building to it, yet I don’t really see any chemistry between the two. I’m also incredibly sick of listening to Sami yell at people about it. I hate when television shows do this thing where they have characters have the same conversation over and over again and it goes nowhere. Oops, this was supposed to be the things I liked. I like Will. By which I mean Will is an obnoxious little punk, but that’s an accurate portrayal of a young man in his late teens/early 20s. Particularly one simultaneously struggling with being in the closet and knowing his mother cheated on the step-father he really likes with the ex-step-father he hates. I liked the corporate espionage storyline with Sami and Madison, particularly in the way it made it clear that people around the two women would not have been so upset out of similar behavior by men. Nice. I like that the professor sleeping with the student subplot didn’t go with the standard seductive teacher but when with the kinda psycho undergrad. (By the way, since you may not be watching, they didn’t actually sleep together, she’s just convinced him they did. He was actually too drunk to stay conscious that long).

Things I dislike: Stefano is simultaneously too much of a cartoon villain and not enough of a cartoon villain. It’s hard to do a fleshed out caricature, and they aren’t pulling it off. I’m not entertained by this whole subplot where Hope (who thinks she’s married to Bo) is actually married to John (who thinks he’s married to Marlena). I don’t care. I don’t get why they care so much. I just want it over. I don’t like the whole election storyline because I’m clearly supposed to be rooting for Abe, but I can’t get past is unethical behavior (he let someone give him the debate questions ahead of time while slipping his opponent fake debate questions). His whole logic that his opponent (the aforementioned EJ) was dirty and so he had to sink down to fight him at that level didn’t convince me. Nor did his desperation that EJ would do horrible things as mayor. Seriously, he’d just be mayor. Too my knowledge that doesn’t come with missile codes or anything. How badly could he screw things up in one term? I was relieved when Abe’s wife finally pointed that out to him, but not relieved enough to like this storyline.

So over all, I’m definitely liking it more that Bold and the Beautiful. But I’m not loving it. I’m not invested in it. When my DVR crashed and erased an episode I wasn’t that upset. I didn’t even go watch it online. Maybe investment takes time. I had half a lifetime invested in OLTL and I don’t expect to feel that for any other show any time soon. But I’m still trying to support scripted drama where I can. And I’ll admit I’ve been thrilled to see ratings for all the non-ABC soaps increasing while the ratings for ABC’s new reality show nosedive into the toilet.

Serialized Coffee

Would we drink coffee with Charles Dickens?

Cammy:  A co-worker was praising Dickens the other day which led me to put him (Dickens–not the co-worker, who generally comes in when I’m drinking coffee each morning, regardless) under consideration for coffee.  I’m going with a tentative yes.  I’m not sure what to make of his mistress on the side, and I just have a sneaking suspicion, I wouldn’t be a great fan of his personality.  But, what better way to find out than coffee?  Worst case scenario, I get up and walk away.  Best case, I get the 4-1-1 on the personal life.  I’d also relish the chance to talk about writing soap operas.  Because, let’s face it, those serialized novels he’s known for?  Totally soap operas.  I’d like to see just how much plot he established in his head early on, and how much he left to the moment.  How does he feel about the serialized format for stories–was he just doing it because of the media style of the times, or would he support the idea that there is inherent value in the format?  And, he and I could talk copyright, too.  Dickens actually lectured in the US, pushing for copyright laws since, at the time, US Copyright offered no real protection for foreign works (in stark contrast to the utter fuck-up we just got handed by the 9 in the Golan case).  In his case, there was definite need for more stringent copyright, but I have to wonder how he’d feel about the creeping reach of copyright today in terms of duration, over-extension, etc.  I doubt he and I will see completely eye to eye, but it could be a spirited discussion.

Kristy: You know, I think I’m gonna decline. I just feel like I’m going to have a hard time drinking coffee with the man and not saying something which will cause the conversation to take an unpleasant and unproductive turn. It’s hard to read anything the man wrote and not come away thinking he had a screwed up view of women. Based on my limited Dickens reading it seems like his women are either psychologically fucked up or victims or both. And then there’s the whole racism thing… from him constantly reminding you that Fagan, the criminal mastermind, is a Jew to his discussion of the Eskimos the man just keeps irritating me. And yes, I know he’s a product of his time and I’ve probably already had coffee with other racists and sexists. But with him I know about it. And I’m just worried I’ll say thin wrong thing and Cammy won’t get her copyright talk.

Weekly Downton Reaction

I thought about coming up with something creative to post about, but I have a migraine that I’ve had on and off since Friday. So we’re just going to stick with reactions to our British import obsession.

I just really don’t know what to think about Isobel this season. Last season I really liked her. This season I really don’t. I’m thrilled she’s going to help the refugees though I worry every time she leaves she’s going to croak and everyone will have to feel guilty. Not to mention it will screw with our survival odds.

I’m not sure how I felt about the Patrick thing. I know, as a soap fan I should be behind any plot that involves amnesia and people coming back from the dead. But… I’m not sure I am.

I kinda need them to stop kicking Edith in the shins. I don’t love her, but seriously? Is this necessary?

I know I’m probably the only one, but I kinda want more Sibyl and Branson.

I’m kind of sad we aren’t seeing as much of the sweetness in Robert and Cora’s marriage as we saw last season.

I feel genuinely bad for Daisy. They spent a season teaching the poor girl about honesty and integrity and then told her it only mattered some of the time. You can’t do that to a girl. Especially one as simple as Daisy.

Oh Matthew… I simultaneously want to hug him and push his chair into something hard.

Lady Violet is totally who I want to be when I grow up.

I knew Vera was going to be dead. I knew it! Who killed Vera? Cammy did, obviously.

Changing the Channel: Bold and the Beautiful

Were you enjoying the lack of soap opera related posts? Too bad. Today we’re going to talk just a little about how my life has changed since One Life to Live’s cancelation. For one thing, I no longer eat lunch at exactly 2:00pm. For another thing I’m watching less ABC. And judging by their ratings, I’m not the only one. But I digress.

I originally figured when OLTL went off I’d be done with soaps. I was trying to look on the bright side and think that gave me five hours of extra useable time every week. But the more previews I saw for OLTL’s replacement (I like to call it The Coup) the more pissed off I became. And it occurred to me, that if I turn off the television it hurts ABC marginally. I’m not a Nielsen family, but I was recording things on my DVR, and the do get statistics on that. But since advertisers focus on market share, if all I do is make the size of the market smaller, I hurt ABC a little bit. But if I just change the channel, I hurt them a little bit more. And I liked that idea.

So I decided to check out a new soap. Now as regional markets would have it, there are no scripted dramas in the 2:00pm slot where I live. So I had to content myself with hurting All My Children’s replacement, which is okay, though slightly less satisfying. Fourth Street Media has stated on Twitter recently that channel loyalty tends to override show loyalty or genre loyalty, speculating that it was unlikely ABC soap refugees would jump to other soaps. While last week’s ratings largely prove them wrong, I’ll admit they aren’t totally wrong either. Most soap watchers I know have identified strongly with being ABC, CBS, or NBC soap fans. I haven’t watched All My Children in years, but I always had some idea what was going on over in Pine Valley based on previews or even just turning on the television early. Non ABC soaps were like a foreign planet I knew nothing about. But hey, I’m an adventurous girl. Beam me up, Bradley Bell.

So which show to watch? Ultimately, I wound up giving two shows a trial period, but we’re only going to talk about one in this post. I decided to start watching The Bold and the Beautiful for several reasons. 1) It’s only half an hour long and therefore less of a commitment. 2) Richard from the Soaps in Depth twitter feed had mentioned it was an easy one to get into because it has a smaller cast and usually fewer storylines at once. 3) Scott Clifton. Though in many ways he’ll always be Dillon from General Hospital to me, I find him very likeable on screen and off no matter who he’s playing. 4) Hillary B Smith who played Nora Hannen Gannon Buchanan on OLTL for many, many years was just offered a role on the show playing a sex therapist.

Wanting to really test out how hard it is to pick up a new soap (and because I don’t have that much time) I decided not to avail myself of any of the resources online to tell me the back story or who these people are. I’m just going with what I see on television.

How hard is this: As expected, it’s not that hard to figure out what’s going on. I’m sure I’m missing subtle nuances, and I’m missing that attachment to characters you get after watching a show for years, but I haven’t been lost.

First impressions: I think OLTL may have been the only soap on the air that didn’t have multiple characters involved in the fashion/cosmetics industry. Condescending much, television? You know we are interested in other things, right? Moving past that. There’s something unsatisfying about this show. It’s not just that it’s only half an hour, it seems to have an even higher percentage of time devoted to commercials than the ABC shows, but maybe that’s just perception.

If I have the storyline right: Dillon from GH is calling himself Liam and he’s married to sexy brunette Steffy but in love with abstinent blond Hope. He can’t leave his wife though, because she has a blood clot in her brain that could cause her a stroke if she gets stressed. Only she doesn’t. Liam’s dad falsified test results because he either really likes Steffy (possibly in an inappropriate way) or really dislikes Hope or both. He’s married to Katie who looks eerily like Kelly #3 from OLTL, only much prettier as a brunette than she was as a blond. Steffy has evidently done a lot of lying and manipulating, but is totes reformed and dedicated to her marriage. Hope is so devastated to have not gotten her man she’s considering throwing out her principles and everything she stands for (apparently she’s some sort of celebrity). Hope has a meddling mom. Who I think is married to Steffy’s dad. Steffy’s mom has a problem with too much collagen in her lips.

All hell breaks loose when the truth comes out about Steffy’s nonexistent blood clot. There’s lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but ultimately Liam realizes that since he was planning to leave Steffy before the blood clot, he should probably go ahead and do that. Elsewhere on the show there’s a crazy old lady with a Wayne Brady obsession and JR Chandler from AMC fresh from firing into a crowded room is doing something underhanded.

My thoughts: So many things I want to like about this show, and so few I do. I want to like Liam, but he spends entirely too much time looking tormented and playing with the feelings of both ladies. I want to like Hope for being a female on television who doesn’t sleep with every guy who looks at her twice. But she’s just kinda cloying and annoying. I kinda like Steffy except she was so freaking deluded about things working out with her and Liam. The older generation seems more childish than their children. And aspects of this show (read: the whole Wayne Brady thing) just seem a little silly. And not in a fun way.

Verdict: I’ll give them a little longer, but I’m far from hooked.

Weekly Downton Redux

Well if Cammy gets to post about Downton Abbey when it’s her Sunday to post, I feel it’s only fair I can do the same. After all, I recommended the series to her. And my mind can be just as one tracked as hers.

As a friend of mine just posted on Facebook, this show will give me high blood pressure before all is said and done. Ay ay ay.

Isobel was annoying the crap out of me last week, but I can’t help but feel a little bad for her at the start of this one now that she has suddenly become redundant. Still, running off to France when there’s, you know, a war there, seems a bit extreme. And more than a bit passive aggressive. Who knew she was Southern?

I can’t quite make up my mind about Edith these days. She’s gone from object of pity to bitch to homewrecker to … almost too damn good to be likeable. Either she’s fickle or I am. But as Lady Violet would say, I’m a woman, so I’m allowed.

Lord Grantham seems to be playing the role I expected Bates to play this season—all frustrated and feeling useless.  I just want to hug him.

Mary… well she’s just so darn British and high class. I both love her for the stupid things she does and want to throttle her for them. But she’s growing, I guess.

Speaking of growing up… Sibyl. Let’s be honest about something. Sixteen year old me desperately wants to be Lady Sibyl. She lives in a big house, has fabulous clothes, gets to act morally superior and has an Irish revolutionary in love with her. She even has the cool mythological name. Come on! What more could you want? So… yes, I get why other people find her annoying. Sixteen year old me was rather annoying too. And sixteen year old me requires that I love her.

On the topic of Branson, I’m increasingly less certain of his death. William’s too. Not that I’m convinced either will survive at this point, but I’m mentally readjusting the odds.

Bates and Anna fill me with simultaneous squees and dread. Vera’s clearly not done yet.

I’m sure a lot of people are going to hate the little lapse into musical, but it filled me with joy like few moments on television have.  Can this show get any more delicious?

Drinking to Forget it’s Over

Somewhere along the way I developed the habit of inventing cocktails and desserts and naming them after fictional characters. I’ve made The Big Daddy Spencer (Psych), Aragorn brownies, Maddie Hayes ice cream, and a whole list of BSG inspired desserts which have previously been posted on this blog. I felt this tradition fitting to observe for the end of One Life to Live. To be honest, I have not test driven all of these. There’s only so much drinking a girl can do in a day or two.

The Rainbow’s End
1 oz vodka
1 oz white crème de cacao
3 oz orange peach mango juice (I would have just used orange juice, but this was what was in my fridge since it’s what was on sale this week)
drizzle of ginger syrup
splash of pomegranate syrup

Put the vodka, crème de cacao, juice, and ginger syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously. Strain into a martini glass. Pour in the pomegranate syrup which should sink to the bottom. Don’t mix. It should have a pretty gradiated color like a tequila sunrise, but a very different taste.

My thought process: The first theme song I remember for OLTL started with a lyric about “Here’s where you go when you can’t find the rainbow’s end”—that was the main inspiration. Ginger is soothing, much like this show that has been there for us through the years. Pomegranate: the forbidden fruit–what could be more soapy. Vodka is really just there to be booze, I’m not going to lie. I added the crème de cacao because my rough draft of this one tasted a little too tropical. The juice is there as a carrier and something to contrast with the color of the pomegranate. Read the rest of this entry »

A Few of My Favorite Things

On Friday a show I have watched on and off for two-thirds of my life will air its final episode.  I’m still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it.  I’m trying hard not to spoil my enjoyment of the last couple weeks by focusing on how it’s being replaced by a reality show designed to profit from women’s low self-esteems.  I’m trying not to think about the fact that it will almost certainly end in a cliff hanger because it was supposed to migrate to the internet until that all got fucked up.

Instead I’m focusing on why I’ve loved the show so much.  And since there’s no one here to commiserate with me in person, you gentle readers, shall have to listen to it.  Here, in no particular order are some of my favorite things OLTL has given me/us over the years:

  • Sassy black Mel. Okay, when I explain this one to you, you’re going to think, “That’s insane! Why is this on a list of good things.” You’ll just have to trust me, it was. It shouldn’t have been. It shouldn’t have worked, but bizarrely, it did. Back story: Sometime in the mid to late 90s Dorian, the grande diva of the show, was married to a man named Mel Hayes.  A wise cracking alcoholic he was a better match for Dorian than perhaps any of her other mates (she’s had a lot, it’s a soap opera). Well he died (maybe. I think it was one of those “we never found the body” soap deaths which can always be undone, except, of course, the show ends in five days). For the show’s 40th anniversary they decided to bring him back as Dorian’s conscience; he convinced her that even she wasn’t evil enough to let her arch-frenemy Viki die. Evidently the plot device worked so well, TPTB decided to continue it. Only the actor was unavailable or too expensive or something, so they did the only logical thing: Have late middle-aged, Irish American male Mel Hayes played by a sassy young black woman. And strangely enough it worked. It was awesome. (Until they ruined it, but we’re being positive here).
  • Shirtless David Fumero.  Yes, yes, it’s exploitative to have a man on the show just so he can take off his shirt regularly.  Deliciously exploitative.
  • For that matter, Detective Price in the sauna. I will maintain till the end that if they had started inserting one scene of Max Tapper shirtless each week, we probably could have saved the show.
  • Bo and Nora’s first wedding. Performed by Little Richard.
  • Bo and Nora’s second wedding.  Which included tomato juice baths, hair dying accidents and a touch of happily ever after.
  • Dorian’s clothes. When I am… more mature I’m going to turn Dorian Cramer Lord into my fashion icon.
  • Asa’s funeral. No, not the real one, though it was also awesome. I’m talking about when Asa faked his death in 2001 and all his ex-wives showed up to his funeral.  It also was full of heart and inside jokes. Blair saying she was a completely different person when she married Asa (it’s funny because she was: At the time she married Asa, Blair was Asian, by the time this funeral took place she was a blonde with a southern accent.) And Natalie barging in in a red dress declaring herself to be Asa’s real granddaughter.  That is also good soap.
  • A ret-conned history in which Bo Buchanan and Snoop Dog are friends from way back. Because it makes me happy.
  • The line “I was shooting blanks, just like Kevin Buchanan.”
  • The Killing Club Killer storyline.  The execution (poor word choice) wasn’t the greatest, but you have to love any time you have a serial killer story line where the villain turns out to be an evil literary agent. As if that wasn’t enough it gave us the beautifully soaptastic “I thought it was you!” scene between John and Natalie (after he thought she’d had her head shoved in a deep fat fryer. Seriously.) And it provided for the elimination of a bunch of obnoxious undergrads—which is sometimes a fantasy of mine. (That’s a joke, Big Brother)
  • Roxy’s Fraternity Row fantasy sequence.  I know at least one of you happened to see this, but those of you who didn’t, if you ever watched the show at all, you must find this on YouTube, because it was that awesome.  Full of inside jokes, but still generally funny enough you didn’t have to get them all.  And it took me from literally laughing out loud to kicking me hard in the shins and making me cry in the final moments. That’s good soap.

I could sit here all night and the list would keep growing.  But I have to teach in the morning.  If any of you have favorite moments, feel free to share in the comments.

Farewell (for now) Pine Valley

Yesterday was the last new episode broadcast on television of All My Children.  Though I have resisted the urge to turn this blog in o one all about ABC and its soap cancellations I thought the occasion deserved marking.

Before we get to the heart of the matter, to update you all on where things stand: Prospect Park has purchased the rights to All My Children and One Life to Live.  As of now the plan is for both shows to return in January as internet broadcasts.  Details are extremely sparse at the moment, but Prospect Park has reiterated several times their desire to maintain the high quality of the shows.  Rumor has it they are trying to resell to other networks such as Bravo.  They are currently in negotiations with actors.  Frank Valentini, OLTL’s Executive Producer who is famed for budget miracles has signed on with a title that is something like Head of Serialized Dramas.  Brian Frons, head of ABC daytime, continues to be an idiotic, misogynistic jackass.  My hate for him has grown to such levels that I will no longer allow Cammy to accept the blame for the Spanish Inquisition because it is clearly Mr. Frons’s fault.  Also the hot air coming out of his mouth and ass are what is melting the polar ice caps.  And the last name he was born with was Rochester.

But this post is not about how Brian Frons blows goats.

It’s about the fact that All My Children holds a very special place in my heart, and I am sad to see it go.

AMC reminds me of watching with my mom when I was home sick from school.

It reminds me of playing on the floor while my Mom folded laundry or sewed or did something else while watching.

I’m fairly certain, looking back, that the first time I was ever really a “shipper” for a couple it was Hayley and Charlie.

And the fact that, mock it if you must, the show has made major contributions to the history of American television.

AMC began by making the Vietnam War a central issue, when virtually no one dared even acknowledge it on television.  It was the first show in America to have a female character have a legal abortion.  It had a heterosexual female character with AIDS in an era where many people still called the disease “gay cancer.”  It wrote an actress’s facelift into the script so that it could deal with the issue of plastic surgery and all its implications decades before Nip/Tuck.  It gave daytime television its first (and sadly, one of very few) black supercouple.   It’s also been ahead of its time in its depictions of anorexia, homosexuality, drug addiction…

And on Monday, instead, we will have a show telling us such revolutionary things as, “hand towels can be used as napkins if your friends are slobs” and “fresher food tastes better.”  (Who knew?)

I’m hoping that AMC and its sister show will continue to blaze new trails, but regardless, I wanted to take this moment to remember.