Tired of Waiting on the Future

Top 5 Things We Should Have Since It’s The Future:

5) Food pellets.  Because, while I know some of you are totally into your food, I’m not always that way.  If I had a totally filling yet completely neutral method of getting my nutrients, I’d probably be all in for that time saver.

4)  The instant sober, no hangover pill:  This would be a drug company ad I could go in for.  I just hope it doesn’t come with the nausea, indigestion, stomach upset, headache–after all, that’s what we’re aiming to avoid.

3)  Flying cars.  Just.  Because.

2) The Transporter beam.  Now, I know that would seem to make the whole flying car thing moot, but really, flying cars are just fun so can that argument.  For long-haul, quick delivery travel, we want transporters.  Think about how much less we’d all hate the TSA if they queued us up to walk into a little scanny thing only instead of getting virtually strip-searched, we were zipped off to Grandma’s in less than 2 seconds instead of going off to sit in crappy waiting room chairs and being forced to purchase food items at a criminal mark-up.

1)  The automatic sock handler.  I HATE dealing with socks in the laundry.  I hate trying to find them all to put them into the washer.  I hate trying to match them up, I hate actually putting them together.  Loathe it.  Despise it.  Always have.  It’s tedious, and you have the perpetual odd-sock issue.  Since my youth I have dreamed of a machine that would collect, wash, match and fold all the socks at the touch of a button.  WHERE IS THIS I ASK YOU?!?!?  Did we really need 3 different gaming system platforms?  I think at least ONE of those companies could have put a little effort into making my life easier.  I can make a little avatar of myself jump all over a damned TV screen, but in order to do it, I have to find time to get all the sock laundry done.

The future is here.  I’m tired of waiting.  Give me my technology, damnit!